12/27: resolve

Hi Friends:

Well, it's that time of year again when we start thinking of the new year, which means one thing: new year's resolutions. I, personally, love making resolutions--mostly because I'm the hopeful type. I have been reading site after site about how to make and keep resolutions, and this is what I have come away with:

1. Change one word. Switch from "resolution" to "goal" because most people have negative connotations with the word "resolution," and once it's broken, you've failed. However, a goal is something you work toward and build upon gradually, and it can never be undone.

2. Congratulate yourself on the progress you made this past year.

3. Make it easy for yourself to start, keep, and build on your goals. You don't have to wait til January 1 to start. For example, if you want to quit smoking, don't smoke five packs a day and then expect to go cold turkey on January 1. Taper beforehand. If you want to cook things from scratch, don't wait til Jan 1 to buy a cookbook. These small prep steps will help motivate and inspire you.

4. Most sites will tell you to make only one goal. I say that's bunk! Make as many resolutions as you want. The sky is the limit. For me, the act of making a goal is a deep, contemplative process. What did I do this past year? What went well? What went poorly? What's something cool I did? What can I improve upon? What do I want to build upon? I like to pick a goal or two in different areas of my life: physical health, creativity, learning, family, relationship, career, life goals. I believe you can always put a little bit of work into those areas, and any work you put in will be rewarded.

5. Be realistic with the goal fulfillment. Expect failure, hardship, and setbacks. Slightly depressing, but true. But that doesn't mean you've failed! If you want to run a marathon, but by the end of 2012 can only run 15 miles at a go, that's still really great. And don't expect there won't be days when you have muscle cramps, or the weather is bad, or you need to finish a project at work for a couple of weeks, or you just don't feel like running. Because there will be. But the difference between a resolution and habit is consistency.

6. Don't make the same resolutions every year. If you have "Learn Spanish" on your list for multiple years and you're just not doing it, you should realize that learning Spanish is either something you don't really want to do, or too big for you to tackle. If the former is the case, figure out why you're at the place where you are at. Maybe you don't really have time to learn Spanish but you love Spanish movies, or Spanish cooking, or Spanish men--and do (ahem) more of that instead. If the latter is the case,break it down into smaller, more managable or specific tasks ("take an adult learning class" or "ask Jason to be my language partner and meet once a week").

7. Reward yourself. Make milestones. Either join a group or cheer for yourself. Celebrate any progress you make. Keep good records of your activities. Be the recorder and the participant in your own life.

8. Finally, if nothing else, resolve to try one new thing this year, preferably something that makes you nervous and slightly afraid. Do it with a friend, if you need a partner. Then one day you can look back and laugh at your funny, full life.

I hope this helps you. I look forward to seeing you on Thursday, and into 2012!

Take care,
meredith