4/18 post: should

Hi Friends:

Last week, we had a retreat for my department at work. Now, except for the free food and snacks that traditionally accompany a work retreat, I usually don't like them because everyone wants to talk about one of my least favorite subjects: work. However, this retreat was, in fact, pretty awesome. Instead of boring you guys silly with the whole thing, I'll give you one part I enjoyed (plus, I have to keep some for if/when I'm not prepared for another Monday's email).

The woman who led the workshop, Dayle Spencer, spoke about the word "should." When people use that word, it's often in a critical, unconstructive way: "You should have done it this way," "You should have thought about that before you did it," etc. Instead of helping, people are heaping on criticism about the past, something someone can't change. Or they will just be bossy, saying, "You should do it my way." Dayle said that, when you do that, you are "should-ing all over them."

I'm completely guilty of this. There's a fine line between giving a suggestion and giving criticism, and "should" straddles that line.

Dayle says, "Don't should on people!"

To which I add, "Don't should on yourself, either!"

I hope you have a great week, and are gentle with others and gentle with yourself. See you Thursday!

-Meredith